Les Hommes Folle

So, I've been thinking about this for a while now and I have come to the conclusion that I need to watch more television. I realize this is the opposite of what many people say about their television habits, and I don't mean it in a douchey "I just can't find the time because I am too busy saving baby sea turtles and writing to prisoners on death row" kind of way. I actually think that my lack of interest in TV is a symptom of a character flaw that prevents me from engaging in many outside interest, not just interests that happen to live in a flickering box (wait...do TVs still flicker?).

I think what it comes down to is an inability to persist. Take Weeds for example. Actually, don't take Weeds for an example because that show sucks. Take...Mad Men for example. Actually, that won't work because I've never actually seen it. No, DO take Mad Men for an example and just pretend I watched the first few episodes. (It will work as well as any other example; the reason I've never seen it illustrates the same point I am trying to make.) Okay, so everyone loves Mad Men and I decide that I might love it too. What's not to love? Secretary chic, six martini lunches, yadda yadda yadda. But about 1.5 episodes in I start to get this restless, anxious feeling. Like I am not enjoying this enough to make it worth the time. Or, if I am enjoying it, that it is the wrong kind of enjoyment and if I am going to devote so much of my time to something it should be something more "worthwhile." So I back out. I break off with the series. And I don't feel bad about it...yet.

But the thing is, I never actually devote those hours to anything remotely productive. I drift around online or I do my half-assed housecleaning thing or I read or I force my dog to go for a walk. But I don't learn French and I don't learn to play the piano and I don't go running and I don't ever even get my house really clean. So I might as well have watched Mad Men so I will know what people are talking about when that show (or any show, really) inevitably comes up at parties.

"Watch TV or learn French" isn't exactly the same thing as "shit or get off the pot" but it isn't entirely dissimilar either, in my case. If persisting in activities is not my strong point (and I think we've firmly established that it is not) then I might as well pick something to persist in even if it isn't particularly "worthwhile." Perhaps I can think of it as practicing. If I get good at watching television, maybe I will exercise the parts of my brain that crash out and keep me from pressing on in other areas. So, if my theory holds any water at all, watching television might be like training wheels for learning French or playing the piano or managing to run more than 3 miles at a time. This might be delusional self-talk, but it seems no more harmful or delusional than my usual self-talk and, heck, it's good to mix that shit up a little.

Which leaves just one question: How do you say "Mad Men" in French?